After failing to create anything worth publishing on my birthday, I forgot about Birthday Laundry for about 3 months. It consumed me emotionally for so much time I didn’t even want to listen to the songs I actually liked from the list. I kept digging into this newly found [for me] electronic music culture but ignored my dj controller for this while.

 

My first six months in Germany were hard. Living completely by myself left me time to live  inside my head. I spent the majority of my days alone. My mouth would feel weird anytime I’d talk with anyone because I would never use my vocal chords. My pieces of furniture would not hear a single sound for days even though I spent most of my time with them.

 

It was all about the little changes, the resilience to keep walking through your burning house to see if you can put out the fire with your bare feet: I removed the mattress of my bed because it was too soft, went back to exercise after given the green light in a doctor appointment that was made months prior [i was in the worst shape of my life], painted my walls white from a green color that was one [1] shade away from being good, and started to force myself to spend more time with the people I love today.
I understood why I’m studying and realized that I actually like it. My problems changed from trying to stay alive to being the product of living.

 

My friend Daniel [son #1] sent me out of nowhere a message telling me that he enjoyed the first set I had ever recorded: “uniquE”. After hearing this, the only thing I wanted to do was help him record his own, as we’ve shared this passion for years. That thought stayed in the back of my mind for some weeks before we agreed that a month later he would come from Hamburg to Aachen to film his set.

 

With more confidence in creating than ever thanks to Son #1, I reopened the unfinished Birthday Laundry with the same first 15 songs, just like I left them months prior. My perspective in music and its limits had changed during this retreat: there really are no boundaries. Some songs are songs and some other ones aren’t. My eyes were opened to the randomness of sound and appreciated those who arrange it in a way that makes me feel something.

 

Daniel arrived to Aachen. The plan was to stay at my place for a week so each could finish their project.
Days 1 and 2 were slow because we would constantly try to start working at 16:20, but eventually we got into it, obsessed over it. We would spend the whole day with our headphones on searching for songs, creating playlists and practicing [a lot]. It’s really all we did the whole week.

 

We had booked the same studio where I spent the first hours of my birthday 4 months prior. We set up everything and Son #1 was first up. I danced through his set behind the camera and got excited with every transition even though I had heard him play while practicing at my home many times. He made it on the first try. [We are still on post-production, you will hear from me when it is published].

It was my turn now. I sipped the Redbull I’ve gotten used to drink when playing and got in front of the camera. I got rapidly frustrated after the first couple of songs because the mix wasn’t perfect. I finished the set either way because I didn’t want to leave empty handed again after what had happened on my birthday. I didn’t even bother looking at the recordings after the fact.

 

I failed again. After all the planning and even accompanied by one of the people I love the most in life, i didn’t like what I’d done a second time. Daniel went back to Hamburg on the 12th of September after the week we spent working.

 

I am part of a student initiative that develops, builds and races electric solar-powered cars called Team Sonnenwagen Aachen, this team and my friends in it were also a crucial part of my Pursuit of Purpose this year.
Two days after Daniel left Aachen, we [Sonnenwagen] went to two races held in the last fortnight of September in Belgium and Italy where we won both. On our victorious return, I embarked on the biggest music event attendance spree I have had in my life and played all night in the biggest party I had ever been DJ.

 

On November 9th 2022, 6 months after my birthday [the day this was supposed to come out], I finally was able to complete the set perfectly for the first time. I finally understood the narrative of the sounds I had been looking for. Everything made sense; a sonorous marvel.

 

I practiced on and off for a month as life [and university] kept happening parallel to this artistic Pursuit. I booked the same video studio for December 11th, 2022 for the last time. I felt a kind of calmness as the day approached that I hadn’t felt any of the other times. I asked my sister with a background in theatre for some advice in timing for my dress rehearsal that ended up being exactly 22 hours before the time of shoot.

 

I took a deep diaphragmatic breath and opened the studio door. I set up the lights, the table, the camera, the redbull, the computer, the controller, yet again on another Sunday, for the last time.

 

For the last time, after 7 months and 20 days, I hit record and-

 

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